Days Until Heartbreak/Unbreakable
i miss those times where we were untouchable now we're together unbreakable part five of Days Until Heartbreak You know when you have that dream that's unbreakable? The dream that you wish you come true every day of your life? The dream that haunts your nights, and soothes your every heartbreak. The dream of perfection that that is untouchable, no matter how far you reach for it. Yes. Hold onto that dream. Everyone has that chance, to experience a dream that you wish would come true in real life. Your first boyfriend. Your first experience with them. What if it did come true? Well you're about to find out because ''I'm having my chance.'' Right now. ~'' Ice is right in front of me. He's way too close. I'm too afraid to move. What if I accidentally hit him? What if our ''noses touch? What if he links tails with me and tells me he loves me? Okay that last one isn't too bad. Or the second to last one. Of course I happen to do the first one instead. I buck, trying to get my nerves in place and end up flashing a paw out and hitting Ice in the jaw. He stumbles backwards, one paw to his face. "Ow!" he yelps, "Sari if you didn't want me here you could have told me!" "Sorry," I hop towards him, "I was just erm, exercising. I mean I was nervous! I was nervous okay?" Ice flexes his jaw. "I'll be fine," he waves me off, "don't worry." I back away a bit as he grins at me. "Let's do it the proper way, okay?" "What?" He reaches me quickly before I can blink. Then he leans down and touches his nose to mine. I gasp out loud because I'm not expecting it and it's just too fast, too much. He backs away as quickly has he came. "Sorry," he flashes another smile at me, "Couldn't help it this time." I find the sides of my mouth have quirked up too. That's when I'm reminded how this all started... ~ I find tears coming out of my eyes too quickly. I can't believe that is happening. I thought Ice is my friend, not some Clan cat's friend. Even worse, he wouldn't even explain it! I feel betrayed. But what did I'' know about love? Perhaps I am just jumping ahead of myself. Love is for the weak anyways. What I had was Ice was a mere...playdate. That's all. He can do whatever he wants with Shineblossom. When I return to camp, I notice that Aura doesn't bother coming over to ask me what's wrong. In fact, she's ignoring me entirely. I shrug and retire to our den. Once inside, I let my thoughts pour out. I think each and every thought over and over, trying to solve the problem. What is love really? What makes cats fall in love? What does love ''do to a cat? I hope I never have to figure it out or experience it myself. I pace, trying to exert my energy and anger. "Are you alright?" Aura asks softly as she enters herself. It must be close to night now. "You seem...agitated. A few days ago you seemed to be floating around, but now..." "I'm fine," I mutter, turning away, "just...things." "Like?" "Stop being nosy!" I burst out, "You're always pushing me around, trying to open every dark secret I have. Do I press you or anything? No!" "That's because I tell you everything," Aura looks hurt. I don't care, however, I don't need her reprimanding me. "You've never had a need to pursue an issue." "Oh really?" I snap, "So are you expecting me to pour out my heart?" "You shouldn't have a need to hide anything from me," she mews quietly, "if you aren't break any group rules, then why are you afraid to tell me what's going on?" I jerk away from her. She suspects me. She knows about Ice. No she can't. That's not possible. Nobody has seen you with Ice. Or have they? "Really, Aura?" I snort, trying to conceal my panic with disgust, "You really think that's what I'm hiding? You think I'm going out with a tom? As if! I remember what horrible fate lay in front of us when Winter abandoned us for that tom. I'm not crazy or stupid. Back off, will you?" Aura's eyes widen. "Then what's on your mind?" I give her a withering look. "I'm just annoyed right now. The camp isn't really the best place for me as you can see. You and the other she-cats aren't the best company. I'd rather be outside in the open." "And near the toms," she adds. I sigh. "Look, I'm not seeing a tom okay? Honestly that's such a sick idea." But I know I'm lying, and I'm afraid she knows it too. And that's when I know I'm afraid of Aura. I'm afraid of the power she holds over me. What if she finds out? Will I be forced away? Or even worse, thrown in the Dump? She has too much power. I need to push her down one day. She can't be more powerful than I am. I cannot be terrified of what she will do to me. But for now, I'll let her suspect nothing. "I'm just worried about you, Sari, you're acting weird," Aura sighs as she curls up in her nest, "Seriously, be safe, okay?" "Yeah, yeah, you too." When she finally falls asleep, I find myself lying awake, still thinking over today's event. The image of Ice and Shineblossom purring together imprints itself in my mind. I shake my head furiously and roll over, trying to get some real sleep. ~ He's there with me. I can see him just barely ahead. His translucent pelt shimmers in the moonlight. I'm reaching out to him, wanting him to hold me, to be here with me. "Ice," I call out quietly, "I'm sorry." He turns, his blue eyes warm. "Don't be, Sari, friends forgive each other." "Are we friends?" I end up asking, staring into the depths of his eyes as he draws closer, closing the gaping hole between us - the gaping hole in my heart. "Or are we more?" "We're definitely friends," Ice whispers in my ear, his breath taunt against my skin. The excitement in the air is practically tangible. "But we could be more." I tilt my head so my nose connects with his. In that moment, we are joined together. Never again will anything, ''anyone, separate us. We are one.'' We are whole. "Will you be here for me forever?" Ice smiles at me as he pulls away gently, "Of course, sweetheart. I will remain by your side for as long as I live. I'll protect you wherever I go, and I will ensure that you are safe no matter what." It's too perfect. "I..." ~ I wake up just as the sunlight filters into the den. I groan inwardly. Just when I was getting to the good part of the dream too. Aura is already out of the den, and I sit up to start grooming myself. The dream is a living thing. I can feel it at my neck, breathing on me, pressing me onwards. It's encouraging me to do what I thought I would never do again. Ice. I slip out of the den and find Aura quickly. "I'm doing to do some morning hunting," I explain, "So you're in charge, okay?" She gives me a long look. "Okay, stay away from the border." I nod quickly, too elated and too nervous to care about her jibe. I hurry away, but not so fast that Aura would suspect anything of me. I head straight for the border. I follow the trail to Ice's den and pause outside. "Ice?" I ask softly. "Come in." I enter slowly. I find Ice's eyes and they're warm. "Are you mad?" he blurts out, "About yesterday? I...I can kind of explain what's going on." "Only kind of?" I raise an eyebrow. "It's really complicated," he closes his eyes and sighs, "I met her a few days ago and well...she insists on seeing me more. I can't tell you more than that though...it's for your own safety." I shake my head, "I was going to say that I'm sorry for pushing you away when I had...Kreg." His eyes harden at that mention of the huge gray tom. "Never mind that," he mutters, "what's done is done; I did something worse I suppose that day." I brush my pelt against his on accident. He freezes. "Let's not talk about those conflicts," I whisper, "I came here to enjoy time with you." He smiles slightly, but not with his usual joy. There's something stopping him. And I'm almost certain Shineblossom has something to do with that. "I...I really like you, Sari," he murmurs, "I just want you to know that before I destroy everything. I don't want to break your heart or anything, but I don't want you to go without knowing that I like you. You're really something, you know?" "I'm not kind or anything," I grimace, "I don't understand why you would like me." Ice tilts his head up to stare at me. "On the outside, you're everything that I should fear. But I can see right through you. Deep inside, so deep you don't know it, you're a sweet she-cat. And that's what I like about you." I shake my head but I don't say anything. "I know you don't understand this yet, but one day you will. I...I don't want to hurt you, okay? I want you to stay safe...so if I ever do anything bad, don't take it to your heart. Just remember I love you and I don't want you to get hurt." "What are you saying?" He's acting too weird. "I'll protect you however I can," he whispers, his eyes full of unspeakable anguish, "I won't let you get hurt, no matter what. Don't mistaken my actions as me hurting you. Whatever I do from now on is to protect you." I don't understand. He leans in and his nose touches mine. "I'll be yours, Sari, but there are some things I cannot have. That you can't have. I can't go in detail but I want you to remember these words." "Ice," I interrupt his heartfelt speech, "I like you too." Instantly Ice pulls back. His eyes are wide. "Y-you can't." "I do." Ice looks elated and agitated at the same time. "S-Shineblossom wants me- Never mind," he shakes his head, "I'll be yours," he adds in a hushed voice, "but when I'm not...don't go away, okay?" He leans in so his nose is brushing my ear. "I love you, Sari."